New – Flash Fiction: 6 Hours!
It had been a hectic day, Joel was beginning to wonder whether he was really cut out for this doctor life, just 3 months into his House-manship and he’d already had enough. He’d been on call since Friday evening, it was already noon Monday and he was still in the hospital. This wasn’t the life he had planned for. All the thoughts of flexing slowly going down the drain. Really, this was not in any way the glamorous life he’d been expecting.
He began to tidy up and pack his things.
The doctor’s lounge was empty at this time of the day, all the other doctors would be busy in their various units. Joel had some quiet time but he wanted to go home. He went to the fridge to take the bottle of Coca Cola he had kept there since Saturday but was unable to drink due to the pressure of work.
He thought back to his days as a medical student how he used to envy the house officers with their new cars and beautiful girlfriends. That looked like a mirage now. Where was he to find the time to have a girlfriend in all this chaos his life had become, did he even have a life of his own?
He downed the Coca Cola in 2 long gulps and threw the bottle across the room towards the thrash can but missed, he grudgingly walked to the thrash can to properly dispose the bottle. He would never have been a good basketballer anyway. The thrash can was empty except for a piece of paper which had some scribbling on it, obviously a doctor’s writing, it stood at an awkward angle across the basket as if it was a living thing looking for attention. As Joel carefully placed the bottle in the bin, he couldn’t help but glance at what was scribbled at the top of the paper. ‘I’m sorry’.
Joel’s curiosity was aroused, was this a love letter from one of the many House officers who were dating each other? Or one between a doctor and a nurse? Suddenly he’d forgotten how tired he was. He looked at the edges of the paper, it wasn’t soiled with anything. He looked around to see if anyone was watching and carefully lifted the paper.
Joel skimmed the paper and suddenly became shaky. He decided he needed to sit down. He looked at the piece of paper again.
“I am sorry, I am sorry, I just can’t go on. I have tried to keep up this lie for so long but it is tearing me apart. I feel guilty, I feel weighed down I feel like I am going to lose my mind. Everywhere is dark, the walls are choking me, I can’t go on. I thought I would be happy, I thought I could make a difference as a doctor, I am an evil person, I don’t deserve to live with what I’ve done, I’m going to end it all, I’ve made up my mind, this time I will do it, this evening I will do it. Goodbye all… I’m sorry, there’s no going back from this… I’m sorry.”
Was this a joke? What was all this about? Joel was perplexed.
It came to him like a light breeze on his neck. He suddenly felt cold – he was holding a suicide note in his hands!
One of the doctors was going to commit suicide that evening!
To be continued…