9 PRECAUTIONARY WARNINGS FOR MY PATIENTS.

NOTICE INTENDING PATIENTS!

Kindly pick a copy of the following instruction manual at the reception desk before you see me:

1. Have clean underwear – it could be of Mickey Mouse, Power Rangers, The American flag or Superman, but please let it be clean.

2. If I haven’t specifically asked for your body fluids, please don’t show me your urine, vomitus or sputum stored in a transparent nylon bag.

3. I don’t have sweets or tea to offer you, so quit looking at me as if I forgot something.

4. I have absolutely, I repeat, absolutely no power to settle feuds between you and the nurses.

5. This is not Grey’s Anatomy, ER or House; things are done a little slower here.

6. Note my closing hours – coming in five minutes before, is totally unacceptable – what time would I have to pack my bags?

7. Don’t lie, I will get you.

8. Carefully select the relative who accompanies you to the hospital…hint – not aggressive, rude, overly inquisitive, talkative or dramatic. They can determine how serious I take you.

9. If you’ve been here five times on previous occasions to see me, why bother again?

Special thanks to The Angry Medic

IMAGE COURTESY

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